I have received this auto insurance offer by mail from a very well known wholesale merchandise company that reads:
“Save up to 20%…”
“As a XXXXX Member, you are now eligible for Money-Saving Auto Insurance RATES OF UP TO 20% OFF…”
My heart sank. Because XXXXX is a good company and they usually know what they are doing.
So how come they approved this lazy piece of copy that will not work for most of their prospective customers?
20% off OF WHAT for God’s sake?
What is the base line here? What is our frame of reference?
How can the XXXXX officials know they are saving me “up to” 20% if they have no idea what my CURRENT rate is?
How do they know that their rate is not actually 20% MORE than what I have now?
What they are REALLY saying is “call us now and we will talk about it.”
No sir, I will not call you now or later because your copy does not make sense and it also insults my intelligence. And if I were you I would hire a new copywriter right away.
If, however, they did quote a real person with real savings, then, who knows, I might’ve given them a shot.
A much better copy that read something like…
Our Member No. 123456 John Smith has saved 19.7% from his car insurance. And so did Jane Doe — she couldn’t believe it when we proved to her that she could save 18.5% over her existing rate.
How about YOU?
Wouldn’t you like to find it out with a single toll-free phone call?”
Then I might very well have given them a call. But not like this.
When consumers are treated like idiots they recoil. The only ones who won’t will probably be the ones in desperate credit or financial problem. But are those the kind of customers that big corporations are trying to attract? I don’t think so.
Good customers deserve good copy.
That’s why I think “no copy” is much better than lazy and unintelligent copy.
Because when you do not send out any tired old mail pieces like this, you at least do not create question marks about the quality of the decisions made within your company. Your profits might remain level but your reputation and brand image would be intact.