What an opener for a movie review:
TITLE: ‘10,000 B.C.’: Time Bomb, By Kurt Loder
SUB-TITLE: The Stone Age itself may have had better movies than this.
The new Roland Emmerich movie “10,000 B.C.” can be recommended to those who have (1) never seen Mel Gibson’s vastly superior “Apocalypto”; (2) never seen the matchless “Lord of the Rings” pictures; or (3) never seen a movie before in their lives. To call the film derivative would be to over-praise it.