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© 2010 Ugur Akinci
Readers remember what they read the last much better than what they read first. Thus try to end your sentences with things that really matter. Don’t end your sentences with matters of secondary importance.
For example, here is a sentence from U.S. OSHA Technical Manual:
“Workplace investigations of ventilation systems may be initiated by worker complaints of possible overexposures to air contaminants, possible risk of fire or explosion from flammable gas or vapor levels at or near the lower explosive limit (LEL), or indoor air quality complaints.
Here the important idea is that the workers do have the right to ask for workplace investigations of ventilation systems. But the sentence ends with emphasizing the conditions under which such an investigation can be initiated.
A better sentence would be:
“If workers detect any air contaminant overexposure, possible risk of fire or explosion from flammable gas or vapor levels at or near the lower explosive limit (LEL), or have any indoor air quality complaints, they can initiate workplace investigations of ventilation systems.”
“Plugged ducts occur when transport velocity is inadequate or when vapor condenses in the duct, wets particles, and causes a build-up of materials.”
A better sentence:
“When transport velocity is inadequate or when vapor condenses in the duct, wets particles, and causes a build-up of materials, the ducts get plugged.”
Another example from U.S. Soil Survey Manual:
“Application of interpretations for a specific area of land has an inherent limitation related to the variability in the composition of delineations within a map unit.”
“The variability in the composition of delineations within a map unit is the inherent limitation of applying interpretations for a specific area of land.”